Monday, September 22

Morass from the Past

One week to go, hopefully.

I've been thinking about the past lately. My sister called this weekend - she calls every other day, checking to see if I've popped yet. (I keep telling her she'll be one of the first to know, but she obviously either thinks I'm full of shit, or is just doing it to annoy me). She went to an auction in the vicinity of my hometown (auctions are the main social events out there - everyone goes to see what everyone else is up to and selling. You can tell a lot from what people are getting rid of.) Seems she bought a set of dishes from my high school-Junior-year-summer-boyfriend's mom. Got that?

The mom thought my sis was me...and was corrected. Then my sis heard an earful about how I was so great and her son really screwed up by letting me get away, etc, etc. I have to say, that was pleasant to hear, and to have my baby sis hear. You see, I was that "good" kid - no partying, basically got along with my parents, good grades, varsity athlete, blah blah blah. That summer's boyfriend was an interesting partier that intrigued me (the guys I really enjoyed dating in HS were completely different from me...its what made them worth spending time with - I was rarely bored). He stopped partying that summer because I didn't. His parents freakin' LOVED me. Then school started, and we went back to our respective schools and lives - kept in touch, though. He got involved in some nasty stuff...I was glad to have moved on. Nothing but bad news there; supposedly he's doing fine now. SO...

An old acquaintance (lets call him "H") and friend of said summer b-friend found me through Facebook, which led to me to connecting with a girl I knew well who married a guy in my class. She is a year younger than me, with two kids under seven and she has breast cancer. Her gorgeous, thick hair is gone (for now) and she's heading into some sort of surgery situation, which is still an unknown for her. I can't help but think how I would feel in that situation, and then I can't help but feel so incredibly grateful that I have dodged that bullet so far. And hopefully, dodged it completely.

Having H dig me up also led to a finding a recent pix on his Facebook account of an old flame of mine - quite the epic, that relationship. Seems he lives 3 hours from H. Looks so much like I remember his dad looking that it's scary. Sounds like he's happy...and what better thing to wish on someone from your past whom you bear no grudge against.

All this morass from the past in about 24 hours. I'm so glad to hear the good about those people whom I haven't thought about in years, and so sad to hear of my old friend's illness. There has to be a reason I found out now. Prayers to her and her family.

Thursday, September 18


I refuse to apologize for not posting for a month...I'm pregnant and swollen and hot and fat and none of my pregnancy clothes fit right anymore, so there!

2 weeks to go. Only 2, but it feels like forever. I don't have the "belly" photos, but I just might post them soon.

According to the doc, baby "E" is already around 7.5 lbs. Monkee was that at birth. Makes me a little more than squeamish on the whole "vaginal birth" thing. In fact, getting sliced open like a big turkey starts to sound pretty damn good, actually (my sis, who has had multiple C-sections is sure to disagree on that one - but she's never had to push a 8 lb anything out).

I am asked twice a day, at least, if I'm "ready." Technically, we are. Bags are packed, car seat is in, baby bed is ready, breast pump bought (lovin' ebay), grandmas warned to keep their cell phones on and charged, etc...But my personal "ready" is a little shaky. It's been over 4 years since I last had a newborn. I have many fears and doubts about my abilities...although my Monkee girl is an amazing kid, and I know Chee is right beside me, I'm the mom. I've been the one to feel her bubble and kick and grow these last 38 1/2 weeks. And she'll be my last one. I'll never feel the baby bubbles on the one hand, I'm sad to see this pregnancy end. And on the other, see the first line in this post. I'm SO ready to meet little "E." Any day now, baby girl, any day.