Saturday, November 15

Starting anew

It's a quiet Saturday - cold enough outside for snow, and it looks like we could get some any minute. We're snug inside - Chee and Monkee crashed for a nap and Little is in her swing, slowly falling asleep. And I should be catching up on my zzzzs as well, but found compelled to write up something. I told myself I start posting again at least once a week.

A crazy few months here, acclimating to having one more human and two less pets around. The baby arrived on Sept. 29. We had planned on inducing, but she came without any needed - four hours and she came hollering into the world. She's a good baby - our main issue is that she feels compelled to cry herself to sleep. Nothing we do helps. She gets tired, and it makes her madder than hell. But at almost 7 weeks, she's looking at us (instead of through us), smiling and "playing." She loves to look at her big sister, who complies by being as silly as possible for entertainment purposes only, of course.

This picture is the first one we took at home of the girls. Note the exhausted mom in the red shirt. That couch was my sanctuary for two weeks before I started feeling like myself again.

I had (and still am having) an episode here and there of post-partum D. Nothing like I did with Monkee, but it lingers. The panic attacks are coming around once or twice a week. Deep breaths, settle myself and stop thinking for a minute and they relax a bit. I hate them and how they make me feel, like nothing in my life is solid. Like everything would just float away if it could and I'm powerless to stop it. But it's getting less. I know it would creep in again once I go back to work, which is coming up more quickly than I thought possible.

I'll have more pictures to post soon. Little's hair is getting thinner - she has that grandpa hair - none on top, but a ring on bottom. And it's dark brown. Her eyes are still a dark blue - they may stay that way. The girls need at least one of my attributes, seeing as they look so much like their daddy. I just tell him that he looks like a Toddler. Makes me feel better.

As for the pet situation - we had to put one of the cats down. She was so ill with GI issues and no medicine or food changes were helping. We had to keep her in the basement. It was no way for her to live, and the GI stuff was just getting worse as she got older.

And we had an incident with the dog and Monkee. Monkee was innocent (I was there when it happened), but suffice it to say that the dog can't be around children. We're looking hard for a new home for the dog (she's basically a great dog and we'd keep her if it weren't for this episode) but aren't succeeding yet. A friend is "fostering" her for a few weeks. We might keep her around in the back through the holiday. I don't know. I just hate the thought of having to put her down after almost 6 years. Makes me sick to my stomach. But not as sick as thinking of what happened to Monkee (who is fine now, but scared of dogs). We have to keep the girls in mind first.

Something that makes me feel better all-around - the state of our presidency. Hallelujah.


Mindy said...

We might not always agree on everything, but never doubt that you are one hell of a mother. Jeff told me about what is happening at work. Have no fear- it'll all work out the way it is supposed to! Keep on being the advocate that you are for your kiddo's. No one else will, and it will serve you & them well - only they won't realize it for a while! You are an awesome human being. Glad to know you!!!

Loads of love, Mindy

Sarah said...

Hi Kristi -

Glad to hear you're blogging again gets away from me too, and I try to get caught back up, but never do! Sorry to hear that you're depressed and not feeling like yourself - there is nothing quite like motherhood to take away your identity and leave you wondering about anything and everything. I understand, and can only say that I hope you're feeling better soon and at least enjoying some cuddles from your girls. Post some more pics of the little ones!

matthew said...


Read your last 3 posts... came to find your blogging thru "linked in". I didn't know you worked @ prop3 with Danny boy! Why'd you leave, did you two have a kicking and screaming match in front of everyone...? ( I actually am snickering to myself while I type..! )

Anywhey... your blogs were very touching... glad to see your new munchkin is doing well. You are Crazy if you think "monkey" doesn't look like you - or, maybe she looks like a "Toddler" but just look at the Kristy sassiness in that cute little face - I just want to pinch those cheeks right off!

I am bummed by Mindy's remarks - what's the scoopage in regards to your work? They better be being ethical in respect to your new mommydom - or Captain Moral, Ethical and Compassionate ( me ) will have to fly in there and kick them in the huevos. Bastards.

So the scoop is - Dan and Cello came to visit me Shop up here in chicago - and lo and behold they might be assisting us in the first of hopefully many projects - how exciting is that? We just had a conference call yesterday and they are giving us a quote... this is my first experience working with Cello - he's the coolest. I hope your leaving p3 was amicable - I know nothing about any of that. Gimme the schoopage when you can.

I want to start a blog... My colleague here @ woik has a food blog that is kicking some serious ass. I want my blog to deal with political, observational wisdom of my brain. How hard is it to keep it going? I just have to sit down and make it happen. good luck with that!

That's all from Chitown - my gal and I are coming in for an extended Christmas - maybe we could hook up or whateva. Give Unca Toddster a big wet one for me. How's he doin' I wonder?

You don't have to post this - I see below that you can disapprove this - or edit this as you see fit. Let me know how thing are going - talk soon!